Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
