Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
