i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
