just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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