I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm at about main and main street
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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