The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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