Rock
Scissors
Fuck
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
