you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
