and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
