My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
