i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
