just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
