I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
