OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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