Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
