so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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