I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
