OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
