i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
