this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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