a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I AM VODKA MAN
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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