Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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