You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
