i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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