high people should be assigned attendants
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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