end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
