he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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