Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
