i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
