im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
