I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
pray to the hookup gods
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
