that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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