Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
