Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
