is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
