dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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