last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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