I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize