I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
