come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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