so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
