Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
