Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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