i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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