Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
sex in a hospital.. check
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
