I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
