and next time when you feel me up, do it right
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
