if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
