I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
