the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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