Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm getting married
To pizza
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
