That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
