She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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