all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
